Thread: Tools of the trade...

Originally Posted by str8fencer

Dremel: Known as a multi-tool, this little device is able to destroy any object, in a fraction of a second. A huge array of available bits allows you to apply it to any stage of your work, sometimes it lets you ruin things sooner rather than later. This actually saves work, as it is better to discard your first attempt, from here on known as your "test run", and restart your project as early as possible. Handy for removing calluses you were not aware you had.

Dremel, continued:
The Dremel can be compared to an attractive prostitute; it's seductive, especially if you are in a hurry and space is limited. The cost is reasonable and many options come with it. The job starts off fast and usually ends quick. The result is almost always a scene of you, standing over the Dremel, saying to yourself, " WTF did I just do??".

Darth Vader used a Dremel as a "back-Up" to his lightsaber.

No, I'm not the author...but I too found it so stinking funny that I had to share with the rest of you guys!

Originally Posted by rangerdvs

Shooter74743, this has to be one of the funniest threads I have ever read here. Each one just kept getting better. Don't know if you made all of these up, but if you did, Brilliant!

Best Regards Ken

Vise: useful tool for clamping workpieces that you thought you tightened properly before it pulls itself out onto the drill bit spinning its way into your knuckles.

Bench: A roughly horizontal surface..if you can find it! Support for everything that didn't quite get to the proper storage place. Usually having at least one crevice allowing the loss of the particular part which is no longer available for replacement. Also an edge approximately 32 inches above a concrete floor; sufficient to allow the destruction of edged tools and breakable items by gravity.
~Richard

Tape measure: usually used to make sure you cut something too short

Vise: The perfect tool for knurling that previously mirror finished project.

Tim

Superglue: Adhesive used to adhere the exotic burled scales you just broke back together, and then to glue your ungloved finger to when using as a finish.

Originally Posted by Bruno

BUFFER WHEEL: device for violently flinging workpieces through the workshop in the same vertical place as the person holding it. It is secretly trying to catch you unaware to that it can grip a finger or thumb, in order to brutally rip it out of its socket.

Coincidently the last tool in the progression of ruining a straight razor.

Jeff

Wallboard: Place to store hooks for tools that you store elsewhere. See Bench.

WOOD PLANER: Item used in taking of chunks of skin from your hand and fingers

CNC MACHINE: used to ruin mounting plates and the piece your working on
Also used to throw said pieces at you and scaring the hell out of you when it hits the plexiglass shield


and to add to the bench one

WORK BENCH: legs useful for stubbing toes, causing broken toes and dropping of delicate projects or instruments....